_______ A Beautiful Lie

some random thoughts

huiting said tis to me in sch just nw:
i noe ur very happy to be in db.

i thought abt it n i smiled.
yes. she's rite.
i truly enjoyed it.
nt just cos of da frens ard
but also cos of da trg.

true. trg is tough.
sometimes i feel like i can
nv be part of them.
cos i was too fat n unfit.
but den they were encouraging.
they made sure everyone is on
da same track n progress together.
though i noe i'm super fat,
they nv made me feel dat way.
they always assured me dat thru trg,
i will lose weight n gain stamina.

n of course.
being with da whole grp was fun.
they always tell crappy jokes.
at first its quite weird to mix wif them n such.
but nw it was quite ok.
they are super friendly.
n yes, they bond like gel.
n i cant forget bryan yest.
so damn crappy la.
haha.

so a part of me misses ncc.
no doubt abt it.
i miss supernumerary 2004.
i miss 46th intake clts.
i miss my clt course instructors.
i miss hamx.
i miss yb.
i miss sue.
i miss maam zaiton.
i miss lt morris.
i miss sgt peter.
i miss sgt hairil.
i miss maam gurdip.
i miss rsm.
i reali miss da ones who believed in me.
who believed dat da fat me can
make a difference in ncc.

but it stops there.

another part of me hates ncc.
da place where i was ridiculed
cos i'm freaking fat.
da place where i got backstabbed
by ppl whom i thought were frens.
da place where i nv really fit in.
da place where i told myself i can
do smth to keep myself fit
but it has NEVER happened.
da place where ppl called me up only
when they desperately need my help.

nonetheless,
i treasure da true frens i made in ncc.
da moments spent together will
always be cherised.

but nth can ever make me feel
dat ncc is where i reali belong.
again.
it does nt work dat way.
anymore.

p/s.
to whoever i may offend,
it's nt meant to be dat way.
its just my experience.
n i had enough.

lisaaaaa penned a beautiful lie
at 8:53 pm