_______ A Beautiful Lie

- shitified

shitified day.
it started so bad.
dat i was breaking down.
in da middle of orchard road.
can u imagine?

well. let me fill u in.
had to work today. early in da morn, mom was oreadi breathin down my neck. she's been goin on n on tis whole damn week. before i went to work, we were oreadi arguing. abt smth stupid. so i ran all da way to da mrt station. literally. to escape da endless nagging. den at work, it was nt so bad. but dat certain someone had to be on my mind. which totally suck. after i finished workin, i received an sms. from mom. she asked if i'm ok n told me to tink twice before i do anythin. like wth. so nw everythin is my fault. tanx alot.

i walked along orchard road. n it brings back loads of memories. mostly bitter ones. i was on da verge of my tears. i was oreadi feelin so shitty n tis had to happen. i managed nt to cry suddenly n in da midst of all da kiasu shoppers. took da train to go home. again, i cant seem to control da tears. was fightin all da emotions n tension buildin inside. pretended to slp but i can feel da tears comin out. felt so relieved when i reached home. wanted to lock myself up in my room n vent all da anger n frustrations. but den my parents beat me to it. they vent their anger on me first. so i juz let them. got no more energy to fight back. den when i finally get to be alone, i cried my heart out.

was feelin depressed for da past two weeks or so. cant seem to get anythin rite. cant seem to say da rite things. cant seem to do da rite things. suicidal thoughts has overcome me. again. i don see da point in anything anymore. all i get nw is endless breathing-down-my-neck, constant depression, bitter flahbacks, tension build-up n waiting hopelessly.

i may explode anytime. again.

*still waitin. are u dead oreadi? pls let me noe if u are.

lisaaaaa penned a beautiful lie
at 12:13 am